Wednesday, August 19, 2009

A hug from heaven

I need a hug from heaven.
I need a miracle in my life.
lord,pls give my career a push.
Lord,i need help with my emotions.its gettin d better of me.
I hav issues i nid help with.

Just as im gettin on with my life n gettg over my facebook pal,another one comes and hits me rite between the eye..

I hav known ben for ova 5years.ben is that guy who is a complex mixture of friend,almost lover,buddy,etc
he had askd me out in my first year in school and i had turnd him down.we remaind friends,and he startd seein anoda chick.i wasnt bothered.
Ben and i hav similar interests in almost everythin.soft spoken and down to earth,it was so easy to b friends with him.

Fast forward 5years.we lost contact,and found each other again.he's makg progres in his life,stil datin that same chick of 5years ago.
Careerwise,he offers to go in2 patnership with me on some things n i agree.
He's stronga as a christian now,of which i am well pleased..*smiles*

the challenge rite now is:i find myself strongly attractd 2ben.
I am shockd and embarrasd.
He came to my house a few days ago n he fittd rite family liked him,he was so easy to be with..n i found myself noticin things..6'2..dark..handsome...great body..and im wonderin: hav i been blind all this years?!
He didnt help matters eitha.he kept on passg compliments n tellg me wat atractd him 2me.he used words like deep..highly
I do some soulsearchg.y did i refuse him at first? Well i was young,i didnt trust him,n i felt he wasnt a commitd christian.
Time has changd all more confident now. The trust issues i had with him has bin resolvd by friendship.
N now he's more in love with God.

Sadly,wat i didnt want,someone else has taken.
N me? I cant stop thinkg about fallin for my friend.
i cant fight'd b unfair to the lady in question,n m nt a my feelings stay with me.

I think i should get a nine to five job.then i wont hav time for all this.if i had a job that was xhaustin n fufiling,i wont hav time for all this emotional crap.its wearing me out.
Lord pls help me.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

The blues

Im having the blues...*sighs*..n im not helpin matters with the choice of songs m listening to..rite now m listenin via earpiece to rihanna's song 'rehab'..n b4 that it was nelly funtado's song 'say it right'..n m gonna b listenin to a lotta songs like that til my mood clears.
Wats the source of my blues? I cant stop thinkg about a particular dude.
I met him via been seein a lotta stuff he'd been doin.He does a bit of everythin:raps,directs,writes,etc
i decided 2send him a friend request,n in less than 10mins he acceptd my friendrquest.i knew d guy was inteligent,bt d xtent i didnt knw til we startd chattin.
Iv discoverd that i hav a soft spot 4 vry inteligent inteligent 2d point of being nerdy.

I discoverd durin d course of our conversatn that dis guy was inteligent like that. N also a cool,humorous goofy guy to boot.
We chattd evry weekend and i suddenly found myself lookg 4ward to our weekend chats..n talkg to him made my day..

Told me he had a weakness(his words) for full figured women. told me he was stayg away from women rite now cos his ex had hurt him pretty badly n he hadnt been havg it easy in rlationships.
Anyways, durin d course of one of our conversations,he offered 2hook me up to an audition on a project he'd been workg on and al i had 2do was send som pics.i did.
N i havnt heard 4rm him 2day. N i mis talkg to him. N m wondering wat on earth is wrong wit me. I hav not fallen in lov,that m sure.

I mis d conversation already.mayb d pics werent good hav 2admit d pics werent all that.

I wonder if d guy n i wil eva hook up 4a drink or sumthg..

I wonder if il eva get a facebook msg 4rm him again..

I wonder where i left my common sense.

These songs re nt helpg matters at all..

Thursday, August 6, 2009


I rmemba like 2months bak in d company i was doin my youth service.a dude who workd in d next office cam by 2socialize wit was a friday.d conversation went sumg like dis:

dude:hw re u?
Moi:im fine sir.
Dude:re u sure ure fine?
Moi:yes sir
dude:hmmmmm... (looks at me 4 a moment)
so 2day is friday.wat do u do on fridays?
dude:nothin? Dnt u go out? Drink? Club? ratha hav a gd nite's sleep.bsides,i dnt drink.cant stand d taste of alchohol..its bitter.
Dude:but surely nt evrythin is bitter..dnt u take smirnof ice?
Moi:nope.cnt finish it..d taste..
Dude:wat about wine? Surely u take wine?
Moi:oh yes i take wine! In fact there's a particularly delicious one i tuk at a friend's place.i lov it..bcos its sweet..d thing is i cant stand bitter stuff,dats y i dnt take alchohol. u smoke?
dude:u dnt go clubbing.ure not a big fan of parties.u dnt drink.u dnt smoke.ure boring!

Cn u imagine? Im borin cus i dnt drink or smoke,club..n i dnt realy party.wat rubbish! Im a vry fun persn,n im nt borin at al.bcos i dnt do al d above he clasifid me as borin.hissssssss.

Later he came in2 my office wen no one was around,n tried 2 tried 2fondle my boobs n steal a few kisses.rubbish.
I denied him of course,which did nt improve my rating wit him.
Wat da heck.i told him:
I dnt make xcuses 4 who i am.n m nt sory. I dnt hv 2do al d smokg, partyg n drinkg 2b an intrestg person..
I just wish i cld hv tld him 2stuf himself n get lost!

Bt i my oga friend .