Easy?

How easy is it 4 a single lady2stay celibate once u've had sex? Il b bak shortly 2talk about dis.hello ppl. Phat gurl is back.
Yes ooo.if a lady dcides dat im goin2kip my legs closed as a single lady,hw easy is it?
It wld b a big lie 4me2say dat ive nt wishd dat i cld just b free wit myself n hav all d sex i want..bt i cnt do it.
I hav trid though..''afta all'',i thot 2myself''evrybody is doin it''...
N as pleasurable as it is,i always end up feelin vry ashamed..guilty..n i always feelg like ive disappointd God..then i spend d whole month anxiosly waitg 4my period.
*sigh* not worth it jare.i no fit shout abeg.
But meeen...its nt easy.it realy is nt.

A hug from heaven

I need a hug from heaven.
I need a miracle in my life.
lord,pls give my career a push.
Lord,i need help with my emotions.its gettin d better of me.
I hav issues i nid help with.

Just as im gettin on with my life n gettg over my facebook pal,another one comes and hits me rite between the eye..

I hav known ben for ova 5years.ben is that guy who is a complex mixture of friend,almost lover,buddy,etc
he had askd me out in my first year in school and i had turnd him down.we remaind friends,and he startd seein anoda chick.i wasnt bothered.
Ben and i hav similar interests in almost everythin.soft spoken and down to earth,it was so easy to b friends with him.

Fast forward 5years.we lost contact,and found each other again.he's makg progres in his life,stil datin that same chick of 5years ago.
Careerwise,he offers to go in2 patnership with me on some things n i agree.
He's stronga as a christian now,of which i am well pleased..*smiles*

the challenge rite now is:i find myself strongly attractd 2ben.
I am shockd and embarrasd.
He came to my house a few days ago n he fittd rite in.my family liked him,he was so easy to be with..n i found myself noticin things..6'2..dark..handsome...great body..and im wonderin: hav i been blind all this years?!
He didnt help matters eitha.he kept on passg compliments n tellg me wat atractd him 2me.he used words like deep..highly inteligent..beautiful..smart..
I do some soulsearchg.y did i refuse him at first? Well i was young,i didnt trust him,n i felt he wasnt a commitd christian.
Time has changd all that.im more confident now. The trust issues i had with him has bin resolvd by friendship.
N now he's more in love with God.

Sadly,wat i didnt want,someone else has taken.
N me? I cant stop thinkg about him.im fallin for my friend.
i cant fight 5years.it'd b unfair to the lady in question,n m nt a thief.so my feelings stay with me.

I think i should get a nine to five job.then i wont hav time for all this.if i had a job that was xhaustin n fufiling,i wont hav time for all this emotional crap.its wearing me out.
Lord pls help me.

The blues

Im having the blues...*sighs*..n im not helpin matters with the choice of songs m listening to..rite now m listenin via earpiece to rihanna's song 'rehab'..n b4 that it was nelly funtado's song 'say it right'..n m gonna b listenin to a lotta songs like that til my mood clears.
Wats the source of my blues? I cant stop thinkg about a particular dude.
I met him via facebook.id been seein a lotta stuff he'd been doin.He does a bit of everythin:raps,directs,writes,etc
i decided 2send him a friend request,n in less than 10mins he acceptd my friendrquest.i knew d guy was inteligent,bt d xtent i didnt knw til we startd chattin.
Iv discoverd that i hav a soft spot 4 vry inteligent guys..like inteligent 2d point of being nerdy.

I discoverd durin d course of our conversatn that dis guy was inteligent like that. N also a cool,humorous goofy guy to boot.
We chattd evry weekend and i suddenly found myself lookg 4ward to our weekend chats..n talkg to him made my day..

Told me he had a weakness(his words) for full figured women. told me he was stayg away from women rite now cos his ex had hurt him pretty badly n he hadnt been havg it easy in rlationships.
Anyways, durin d course of one of our conversations,he offered 2hook me up to an audition on a project he'd been workg on and al i had 2do was send som pics.i did.
N i havnt heard 4rm him 2day. N i mis talkg to him. N m wondering wat on earth is wrong wit me. I hav not fallen in lov,that m sure.

I mis d conversation already.mayb d pics werent good enuf.il hav 2admit d pics werent all that.

I wonder if d guy n i wil eva hook up 4a drink or sumthg..

I wonder if il eva get a facebook msg 4rm him again..

I wonder where i left my common sense.
*sighs*..

These songs re nt helpg matters at all..

Boring!

I rmemba like 2months bak in d company i was doin my youth service.a dude who workd in d next office cam by 2socialize wit me.it was a friday.d conversation went sumg like dis:

dude:hw re u?
Moi:im fine sir.
Dude:re u sure ure fine?
Moi:yes sir
dude:hmmmmm... (looks at me 4 a moment)
so 2day is friday.wat do u do on fridays?
Moi:nothing
dude:nothin? Dnt u go out? Drink? Club?
Moi:nope.id ratha hav a gd nite's sleep.bsides,i dnt drink.cant stand d taste of alchohol..its bitter.
Dude:but surely nt evrythin is bitter..dnt u take smirnof ice?
Moi:nope.cnt finish it..d taste..
Dude:wat about wine? Surely u take wine?
Moi:oh yes i take wine! In fact there's a particularly delicious one i tuk at a friend's place.i lov it..bcos its sweet..d thing is i cant stand bitter stuff,dats y i dnt take alchohol.
Dude:ok..do u smoke?
Moi:nope.
Dude:marijuana?
Moi:nope
dude:u dnt go clubbing.ure not a big fan of parties.u dnt drink.u dnt smoke.ure boring!

Cn u imagine? Im borin cus i dnt drink or smoke,club..n i dnt realy party.wat rubbish! Im a vry fun persn,n im nt borin at al.bcos i dnt do al d above he clasifid me as borin.hissssssss.

Later he came in2 my office wen no one was around,n tried 2 tried 2fondle my boobs n steal a few kisses.rubbish.
I denied him of course,which did nt improve my rating wit him.
Wat da heck.i told him:
I dnt make xcuses 4 who i am.n m nt sory. I dnt hv 2do al d smokg, partyg n drinkg 2b an intrestg person..
I just wish i cld hv tld him 2stuf himself n get lost!

Bt i cldnt.na my oga friend .

Bored.. :-(

Im so bored! M at home, n tryg nt 2b a nuisance 2anybody..
Dnt want2pull a jim carey stunt or anythng.m tryg 2b grown up,mature n responsible(urgh!)dnt get me wrong.i am grownup,mature,blabla,but i like bein goofy and playful. I am so playful that my mum sometimes complains that she doesnt knw when im serious! Yeah yeah..
Jst finishd my NYSC programme.n m lookg 4a job..bt m NOT lookg 4 a normal desk,9 to 5 job..heck no.i want 2b an entertainer,like acting n broadcastg..but m prepard2like b a P.A to an entertainer,learn d ropes n d ways of d game b4 i delv fully in2 it.
The challenge is i dnt knw where2go,who 2talk2.n i wish men wld jst ignore my boobs n just concentrate on my brain and talent (if wishes were horses...). i hav tried a few nollywood places, bt d xperience has left me2 cautiaus 4my own good.
Sighs... suggestions anybody?
By d way where re al my friends on blogville? SHOW YOURSELVES! Or else..or else..!
Oh dear.m bored.

Love ko,love ni!(final edition)

Ok.i hav 2finish dis story!

So mr.a was d nicest guy2 b around.2b truthful n honest wit u,NO MAN til date,had ever given me d kind of attentn he gav me.taught me d rudiments of d biznes,took me along on jobs 2 see hw it was done n also2learn,made sure i was cmfortable,n profesd undyin love 4me.hmmm.

But try as he did,i just couldnt giv him d ansa he wantd.there was something so...OFF about him. N ova d years v learnt 2trust my instincts.

So one day mr a cald me n said he was goin 2 abuja 2see his kids-did i tel u he seperatd 4rm his wife? Yes oh.bt dat was b4 i met him.didnt get d ful story bt dey had problems dey cldnt sort out.

Anyways,he went 2see his kids(two lil boys) who were stayg wit his sis in abuja.by d time he came bak,he was a changd man.
Startd actg funny.no longa cald.bcame cold n withdrawn.bt i wasnt realy bothad altho i felt sad that my friendshp wit dis man was ova cus i realy likd him as a person,i jst wasnt intrestd in havg him as a lova.

Mr.a startd xcludg me 4rm jobs.it took me a while2find out,n wen i confrontd him,he made it sound like i ws botherg him.so i left him alone,bt afta we xchangd hot words. i made up my mind 2make it on my own in d biznes witout him.
I lata learnt that he had a long history wit wmen.he does exactly wat he did2me 2them,probably 2lure them in2 bed wit him.afta a few times he gets bord n moves on.so al d attentn,gifts,jobs n al dat was jst 2 lul me in2 a false sense of security.unfortunately4him,i didnt fal 4it.

I also learnt dat he had a sort of bet wit mr.b bout who was gonna get me first.n dis was done ova a bottle of beer.CAN U IMAGINE?!
Thank God i didnt fal 4his games.a lot of ladies v come afta me in2 d biznes who hav fallen 4his antics; n i get 2hear a lot about some of d nasty fights d ladies pick wit him.at d end of d day,most of dem dnt make any headway in dia career eitha.

On my own,i try 2b d best i can b; n i keep improvg my skils as a voiceartist.n m doin ok.could b betta though..bt i give evryjob i get 200%,so i wil remain relevant in d industry.I thank God,d jobs re coming.

Anyways we've bcome frenemies.an uneasy truce lies btw us,n he cals me 4 jobs once every six months..

Wateva d case,thank God i listnd 2 my instincts.
Love my foot!

IM BACK.

Hi y'all. Its bin a hectic n tumultous may n june.i hav wept like crazy.i hav xperiencd great sadness n emotional pain.
Im bak here 2share wit u my hommies.i wil come bak online 2day n tel all.
Are u glad2see me bak or wat? Let me knw.
Kisses n hugs y'all.
Glad 2b bak.